You may have noticed I’m on a kick about how we as grapplers can better understand each other: the perspectives we need to know about one another so we can hear and feel heard. In short, I’m preoccupied with how boys and girls can play nicely with each other, not just tolerating one another, but actively deriving benefit, such that they come to prefer to have access to both the male and the female perspective. I firmly believe we all, regardless of plumbing type, have a responsibility to know ourselves and to learn to communicate our needs and boundaries to one another. Further, we have a responsibility to respect others’ needs and boundaries, striking a balance between what we want, what others want, and what’s good for our community and the world. It requires constant effort and monitoring, like staying upright on a Swiss ball. It’s difficult. And it’s worth it.